Comfortably numb...

How does it feel to be confused? When you have spent a lot of time with yourself and your thoughts? When you have had a lot of discussions and debates with yourself in your head over and over again? When you have gone over the pros and cons (point by point) a million times over coffee and music? When things don’t seem to make any sense anymore? Or rather, you prefer to leave the comprehending part for later. When you get tired of listening to your inner voice? When you have thought so much that your head literally hurts?

Well, it feels like looking into a kaleidoscope for so long that you forget to enjoy the colours and the abstract figures. It feels like looking at the ripples, created by throwing a stone in a pond on a lazy, summer afternoon, spreading all across and finally vanishing into nothingness. It feels like trying to sing along while listening to an old, forgotten tune, forgetting the lyrics here and there – filling the voids with your own words – just to make lines rhyme and not quite getting it right. It feels like looking through a marble held against the sun and not knowing which colour to watch out for and exclaim. It feels like losing the ability to distinguish where reality ends and imagination begins. It feels like travelling along murky, unexplored roads, knowing you are lost and still not doing anything about it. It feels like going with the flow – no questions asked, no answers offered. It feels like getting confused between tenses – you know you are wrong with the way you have framed the sentence, but you don’t exactly know where the mistake lies. It feels like being comfortably numb.