Talk to me!

At times, I get real bored on my daily journey to my office and back. I read - how long can you take the risk of becoming blind while trying to read microscopic letters in a dimly light bus, which keeps sprinting every 2 minutes, thanks to the well-laid roads (get the sarcasm right and then read further!) I see (rather stare) - I am tired of seeing (staring) at the same old hoardings, brightly-lit shops, haphazardly arranged display windows, same thatched roofs, same colleges, its BORING!! Why don’t I strike up a conversation with some one you ask? Well, I have made a few attempts at that, only to fail miserably…some don’t know where to draw the lines for the condtions to suffice for a normal talk to happen, some don’t know when to stop talking, some don’t know how to speak more than two words at a time…don’t get me..read on…

Scene 1:
Me (at my small talk best!): Which song is this one playing on the radio? Is it from that new movie Stalin? U plan to watch it sometime?

Lady1: Nope, it’s from (and she blurts out an incomprehensible telugu word!)

Me(smiling politely): Oh ya! Well, radio mirchi rocks! They always keep asking these interesting questions..something like if you don’t have money for a haircut, then how will you get one, or which three cricketers would you pick for our national kabbadi team, name three players from the Indian football team….blah blah blah..(I blabber on for 5 minutes about how innovative the guys at Radio Mirchi are while she listens silently and I finally ask)..isn’t that funny?

Lady1: (you are going to love this!!!) I don’t talk to strangers!!!

Me: Oh!!!! (Back to staring at the cow which just passed by and watch out for the approaching ISB campus…)

Scene 2:
Man1: Do you sing?

Me: (smiling) No (thinking) What the…beep beep..beep!

Man1: Let me see your hand..am good at reading them!

Me: (smiling) Nope..I don’t believe in stuff like that! (thinking) What the…beep beep..beep!

Man1: What is your favorite colour?

Me: Purple! (thinking) Any colour that repels you!

Man1: Really! I thought it must be black!

Me: (intrigued) why so? (thinking) mind blank!

Man1: Statistics suggest that smart and beautiful women like black..that’s why!

Me: (smiling) Thanks! So, what is your project all about? (thinking) What a cheesy line! Grow up!

Scene 3:
Me: So, you work for the IMG? That sounds interesting.

Man2: Yes.

Me: So, what’s your work about?

Man2: Not all that much fun.

Me: Ahem, okies, guess we all describe our work that way (and laugh thinking I have made a very witty remark)

Man2: (Silence..starts reading the newspaper)

Me(thinking): How rude!

Five minutes later…
Me: So, who won the last match?

Man2 (Hands me the paper and stares out of the window for the rest of the journey!!!)

Me: How rude!!!! Someone please tell the man that he is not in Britain!

Two minutes later, am deeply engrossed in the gossip section of The Times, educating myself about Lindsay Lohan’s weight loss and why the Aniston-Pitt breakup actually happened! When I read crap like this, I feel The Hindu sucks (pun intended..first get the sarcasm and then read further!) and yeah, the match was called off due to heavy rains.

Scene 4:
Me: Hi! So, how was your weekend?

Lady2: Oh, I saw Lage raho Munnabhai!

Me: Wow! I have…..

Lady2: Oh, you have to see it!

Me: Yeah, I…

Lady2: Vidya Balan looks so good!

Me: Yeah, she looks…

Lady2: There was this one scene in the movie…blah..blah..ha ha ha…blah blah…hee hee hee.

Me (nodding and laughing at all the right places): Really! That’s so funny!

Lady2: Oh, that’s nothing! You have to listen to this..blah..blah…ha ha ha…blah..hee hee..blah.

Me (Have tears in my eyes laughing that most realistic artificial laugh ever!)


Half an hour, a splitting headache, a coffee and a crocin later, I am in a team meeting. As Chandler would say – could life BE any better than this???

So, there you go! After a few "mind-boggling" and "humbling" experiences (to say the least!), my companions on my loooong, bumpy bus ride are The Hindu editorials, books and the senseless music blaring away on Radio Mirchi – 98.3 FM – Idi chala hot guru!!! (I miss the RJ screaming "sakkath hot maaga!!" ) Well, may the force be with me..phew!!!