Deja vu

I have been here before. I know this place. It was not very long ago. It feels uncannily familiar to me. I remember this smell. The musty smell of dried flowers. I can hear distant voices. It feels like they are calling out to me. Wait – this was exactly how I felt the last time I was here.

It is dark all around me. I try walking around. My feet can’t seem to find the ground. I want to turn around and run away, even though I know I might regret it. I stand still – undecided in mind – insecure in person. I am filled with a sudden urge to cry. Instead, I laugh. It doesn’t quite sound like me. I try saying a few words – distant – spaced out. I can’t seem to hear myself anymore. I try real hard to listen. No luck. I give up after a while. I try to slow down my racing thoughts. I make an attempt to silence them. It turns out to be a futile effort. All I hear now is the constant pitter-patter of rain drops all around me.

The realization dawns on me. It strikes me out of nowhere. I remember this place – this uncertainity – this nonchalance – this silence –this pain. I remember it all now – vividly. It’s a forgotten corner of my mind. I have been here before. I know this place. It was not very long ago.