Things have changed. Forever I think. Never to go back to the way they used to be.
Efforts appear cursory and go wasted. Emotions have been stoic for quite a while now. The past fails to put a smile on my face. In fact, it fails to affect me in any way any longer. It’s as though the past never existed. All that exists in every sense is this moment and those that lie beyond – waiting to be lived and experienced. This isolation from the past is an alien feeling. At first, I did not know how to react to it – it felt as though an unwelcome stranger had suddenly entered my life – unwanted – uninvited - but now, I have become friends with this very stranger – it’s a comfortable zone, this one.
At times, a shadow looms somewhere beyond the darkness – a ripple travels across the still waters – a whiff of air fills the milieu – a memory comes back to remind me of it’s existence – and then – it disappears – just like that – giving me no time to react. It does not even leave an impact now, as I fail to recognize it. A sense of isolation has enveloped me and it’s becoming my comfort zone – slowly – surely.
Things have changed. Forever I think. And I am surprised that I like this disconnect from times gone by.
12 comments:
Awesome writing dude...
I can't think straight for now and hence i shall respond to this when i'm feeling better....
as much as i would like to forget my past...it will always remain to me as an attempt....its left to us either to remember the good times or the bad times...if u choose the later then u wud surely want to avoid the past....for me ive always tried to remember the good times...yup the bad ones do come bck but more often i see the good things...as a matter of fact im sure even u belive that some memories are too heavy and too sweet to FORGET....good writing awesome thought flow as usual :-)
@Shanim: Cant think staright??? Hahahahahahha..pun intended man! :D
@Niki: Sometimes when the hurt comes from the most unexpected quarters, iuts then that you dont know how 2 react 2 all that u feel all at once -thats when it is better to forget n move on. Its as simple as that - the bad memories overshadow the good times - n things jus chg in a moment - forever. Thanx 4 the nice words on my blog though. Its appreciated.
hmmmm...true it does hurt...but then its just human to make mistakes... 'dont know how to react' does not mean forget and move on....if someone has hurt u does not mean hurt hin/her bck...there would be a reason something that wud make our best frnd hurt us....but its left to us to make judgements n consider forgiveness n move on...
this is wat i do whn i feel really low....i turn bck n see all the good times...no matter how hurt ur it will surely bring a big smile..try it n keep that smile...cheers
knew u'd come up with something like that...on the road to recovery and still insane..sigh..
The past is something I've always hated thinking about. The story begins a couple of years back when I laid my hands on the very first NCERT History books...the years, the events and the impact was all alien to me and it was not getting me anywhere. Often I wondered why we remain in a pessimistic world reminiscing the past and constantly reflecting on it and its horrors.
Time moved on, and history books were a thing of the past (thank God for that) and life took the front seat. Memories of school, college, friends, and family kept calling us back to a world of the past and often we remained in its clutches. Thoughts of things that happened and some that didn't. A world that we wished we could change and yet it remains static.
Looking back in the past often brings a smile or a tear and often we choose not to get back to it...lest tears take over and put a shadow on our smiles...
A silence follows and I can't understand a word I just typed down...do u know of a mental asylum near by? I sure could use one!
@Nikesh: Every one need not necessarily think like you do.
@Shanim: I love history...it comes right after finance for me. Past n history mean two totally different things 2 me.
apparently u haven't read NCERT text books on history...the worst methods of presenting history ever!!! And some of the more interesting things that have happened in the world are often given just 4 sentences or so...as an example...World War 2 and the Nazi regime...I don't recall any relevant write up on the wars strategies or Jewish genocides in those books...they had more information about the US entry into the war than the war as such...
@Shanim: Thats also not so boring man! The events leading upto the war enlighten one more abt the hidden agendas lyin behind all the atrocities happening in the war..like the german invasion of poland sparked world war-2..germany entered the war assuming that it was going 2 win the war n their agenda was 2 totally destory the jewish peoples. History - every bit of it - is the most interesting thing ever.
point taken
btw...when did u become a mallu? "destory the jewish peoples"
hehehehehehe!!
@Shanim: Thats spreadin regionalism man. Not done macha, thats not done.
it is?? woopsie....apologies!
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