Lost in transition

My thoughts – they are in a state of flux. I can’t seem to catch hold of them of late. Either I am thinking too fast or am not thinking at all. Life has gotten busy lately. That’s good – no time to think about anything unless required. That’s bad – it means I don’t connect with myself as often as I used to, in the past.

Things that used to make me smile before evoke no reaction these days. I have started finding F.R.I.E.N.D.S boring (and I though that would never happen in my lifetime), reading for pleasure has become a thing of the past and I don’t miss it all that much (!!!),. I have been suffering from the writer’s block lately, I check out wikipedia and moneycontrol more often than orkut, people – their presence – their absence – doesn’t matter any more. I am at peace sometimes. I get fidgety sometimes. The desire to learn something new about everything is at an all time high. 24 hours seem less. I wish more often that there were two me’s – maybe I could be more efficient at things – try and stuff a little more into my days. I am more bothered than ever before about the grammar and phrasing of my sentences and jump with excitement any time I come across a new idion (what is that abt???). Things going wrong – people trying to hurt me – motivation to transform reality – nothing more – nothing less. There are times I don't recognise myself. My reactions to certain things and events surprise me these days.

Things – thoughts – words stand still. Or maybe they are all moving at such a high speed that they all seem still to me – all an illusion – all a reality. Whatever be the case – I think I like the status quo. Selective awareness of the past – contentment with the present – working towards the future. I don’t know when and where this transition will end. The only thing I am apprehensive about is that when the stability sets in, I am not very sure I will be the same person any more. Well, I will let time be the judge for that one.