For you - a thousand times over

It’s 1 AM on a Friday night. Tomorrow is a holiday. I have just finished reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini – the fourth time. My heart feels heavy – and light – at the same time – don’t ask me how – it just does.

I became what I am today at the age of twelve, on a frigid overcast day in the winter of 1975. I remember the precise moment, crouching behind a crumbling mud wall, peeking into the alley near the frozen creek. That was a long time ago, but it’s wrong what they say about the past, I’ve learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out. Looking back now, I realize I have been peeking into that deserted alley for the last twenty-six years. ~Amir

Very few books make an impact like this one – it makes you feel so many things at once – it makes you smile – frown – smirk – giggle – sigh – wring with guilt – seethe with anger – makes you want to take sides – then makes you want to be impartial and understanding - it’s a roller coaster of emotions.

I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night. ~Amir

The protagonist is as human as one can be – he is no hero – actually far from it. The nonchalance with which he brings about – his justification of his actions at times – his silent guilt – his pain of losing a friendship – his yearning for his father’s love – the jealousy he feels for Hassan – his confusion – his futile attempts to forget the past. Amir could be anyone among us – everyone has ghosts they fear facing – hidden long-forgotten secrets – we all have an Amir hidden away somewhere deep down.

I ran. A grown man running with a swarm of screaming children. But I didn't care. I ran with the wind blowing in my face, and a smile as wide as the valley of Panjsher on my lips. I ran. ~Amir

The tale represents hope to me – hope to someday correct your wrongs – hope to somehow make a difference to some one’s life – hope to somehow smile whole-heartedly some day – hope to come clean of your sins – hope – that’s what keeps the world going right – or was it love? :)

Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. All of it. ~Amir

Yep – shutting it down it is – till the next time I pick this one off my bookshelf – for the fifth time.

For you - a thousand times over. ~Amir

This one will haunt me for a long time to come though.