Thursday, April 26, 2007

Eternity

Your skin like dawn
Mine like musk

One paints the beginning
Of a certain end,

The other, the end of
a sure beginning.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Fin

We come across people – daily. We have almost a hundred conversations on a daily basis – how do you end a conversation - ever thought of it? I met a friend after several days – we were talking sense – sometimes – nonsense – almost all the time. In middle of the conversation, he mentioned the various ways in which people try to end a conversation –the subtle hints – the blatant yawns.

Well – it’s true – there are so many ways to do it. People can be real creative in these matters. Keep glancing at your watch every 2 seconds – gets the other person to say a bye himself. Tell him/her that his/her vehicle must be out in the sun for a long time and he/she better do something about it. Mention casually that you are getting late for your bus/some other work. My personal favorite is the glancing at the watch bit. Not really subtle - not at all offending - real effective. Almost never goes wrong. Depends on the skill with which you execute the act though. Sounds too technical. The thing is – it is technical. As months pass by and I turn older in this corporate scenario – I notice that there is a fixed methodology to many things – the subtle hints – the unasked questions – the reluctant answers. Most of the communication happens through body language. You can make out when is the best time to approach your PM – when is the right time to stop talking about your idea in the meeting – when your presentation is going great guns – when it’s the time to wrap it up all and have a seat. Its all out there and yet I notice that people are not cautious about their body language. Well - the sooner they learn - the better.

On a totally different note - after my friend left, I was thinking of awkward situations similar to ending a conversation effectively - I remembered one mentioned by a friend long time back. How do you ask people whom you have met already their name once again? That one is a serious catcher. He told me several ways to do it – extremely witty ones - but that makes space for a totally different post.

Friday, April 13, 2007

F5

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

~JRR Tolkien

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Bleak

The sun is the same in the relative way, but you’re older: shorter of breath and one day closer to death

~ Roger Waters

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Not ready to make nice

Forgive, sounds good.
Forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything,
But I'm still waiting

In life, sometimes, the most difficult thing is to forgive and forget. There are times when people are mean to you – when people just want to hurt you – people try to break you – people ridicule you – people cheat you. What do you do? Forgive? Forget? Is it as simple as it sounds? Is it really possible to forgive and forget?

I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left for me to figure out,
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying

Trust – the most underestimated word. Doubt – the most damaging word. Over time, I have come to realize, that, any relationship first and foremost, needs trust, for love to even breathe anywhere near it. I used to think that love led to trust. Experience made me realize that in life, the order is reverse.

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round

Is it very bad to be selfish and think about yourself once in a while? When you just want to be mean? When you don’t want to think about the right and wrong? When you don’t want to know the other side of the story? Is it necessary to always to put others before self forever?

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

Is it never late to give some one a second chance? Is it fine that you don’t want to give some things a second try? When you are just tired of everything around you so much that you just need a break and want to be by yourself? Is it okay that infinite number of sorries don’t seem to make any difference to the damage done? Is it okay that you still pretend to assume everything is fine and take each day as it comes?

I know you said
Why can't you just get over it,
It turned my whole world around
and I kind of like it

Is it okay that, some times, some action of some one, some where, changes your entire perception about things, perhaps forever? Is it okay when you want to hold a grudge forever? Is it fine to move on, in life, from here – being a little low on the trust factor? Is it fine to leave some tales in life with no endings?

Long forgotten..

Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened into the rose-garden. ~ T.S. Eliot

Memory – I wish I had a selective one. Sadly, it will only remain only that – a wish. We all carry a small ache somewhere in our heart - which makes us happy and sad alongside. About some long forgotten events – long lost people – old times. You start living in the present and conveniently forget about them. But then, who has been able to escape the past? A wise man once said – “ You can’t explore your future without fully acknowledging your past”. True – I just thought I could be an exception to that rule – but guess am not.

Well, was reminded of something today after a real long time. The message brought a smile to my face and a old, forgotten thought to my mind. There are a few people in everyone’s life, to whom you just react with a “what could have been if?”. I just came across one such person of my life, today, after a long time. Memory – a child walking along the seashore – you can never tell what small pebble the child will pick up and store away among its treasured things. Had a rendevous with one such treasured memory after a long time. But that’s what they will always remain – memories.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Let go..

This one goes out to a very dear friend of mine...just to give him a reason to smile, while he's busy finding himself.

As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God
because He was my friend,

But then, instead of leaving Him
in peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help
in ways that were my own,

At last, I snatched them back and cried
"How can You be so slow?"

"My child", He said, "What could I do?"
"You never did let go"

~Unknown

Monday, April 02, 2007

Shards of genius

"As a writer, one spends a lifetime, journeying into the heart of language, trying ot minimise, if not eliminate, the distance betwen thought and language. At The Hague, I stumbled on a denomination, a sub-world, whose life's endeavour was to mask intent - they breed and prosper in the space that lies between what they say and what they sell"

"This loss of any sense of words inevitably leads to a dimunition of the faculty of imagination, for imagination has to have solid, precise categories, so as to be able to leap across and between them. "

"The only dream worth having.... is to dream that you will live while you are alive and die only when you are dead....which means exactly what - To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty in it's lair. To never simplify what is complicated and complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget."

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Money Matters

Found this draft, while clearing out my desk earlier this morning – thought of posting it, because this is one of the few topics I am seriously passionate about.

"Frankly speaking, I don’t understand money and it does not bother me – it’s a boring thing to discuss and to think about as well - I have more important things to worry about you see" – this is what my colleague had to say when some thing related to an LIC policy came up. It was a lazy Friday afternoon at work. The work for the day was done. And I heard those lines. Wow – ignorant and proud of it as well. Sadly, she is not the only one who takes pride in the fact that she does not understand how money works – what happens to sensex – how the hike in reverse repo rates affects her in the long run.

Money – you come across it everyday – when you pay for our daily ride to office – when you buy your lunch – when you buy that latest CD from the music store – you need it at least once during each day. You are earning big – you are earning well – you have enough bank balance – you spend – you spend big. You buy an iPOd – you buy a digicam – you buy the latest luxury phone model in the market – you go shopping in the malls every weekend. Money – responsible for giving you all those "good things" in life - yet you fail to understand it – you find the business news boring – you don’t understand the hype and hoopla surrounding the budget every February. You are more than glad that you just need to declare your savings and invest a lakh somewhere so that you get the annual tax benefit. That's where it all ends.

Has the word investment ever struck a bell in your head? "No – my husband/dad manages that for me. I don’t like looking into those matters you know." Awrite, I hear you lady and I keep mum. I don’t think anything I say or tell will make any difference to her thinking. But I fail to understand what mindset will her child be inheriting money-wise? Not my bother you say – and I agree with you. She’s pretty fine with her thoughts and she’s sure she is right. One simple question though – your money – you earned it – why is some one else investing it for you? Okie – he is your husband or your father – but you at least need to be aware about where your money is going. I know I sound pessimistic when I say this, but no one can be trusted in today’s world. You shout at the top of your voice that you are an independent woman, then why not be independent in the real sense lady?

I read a book once when in college - Rich dad, poor dad. The book talks about how understanding money and how it works can put you a step ahead of the pack. But the one thing mentioned in that book that struck note with me and will remain with me forever, was to always make sure that even if one earns a paltry sum, make sure your money is working harder than you – not wasting itself sitting in the bank. I think too much about all these money matters maybe because am the daughter of a banker – but trust me I have seen both sides of the coin. I have a ma, who is very particular about money matters and I have a pa, who prefers to stay away from money matters. I agree with the former, while disagreeing with the latter, regarding this issue. You might say that it all boils down to one’s personal perspective and choice - but only one question to you – how can you possibly afford blatant ignorance about the one thing that you interact with, on a daily basis, day after day?